Not sure what possessed me...

...but I decided to scrub the living room floor (it was in dire need of a good scrubbing) and I've only managed a quarter of the floor and I'm knackered!

My knees are aching, my back is throbbing and my dodgy hip (or whatever it is that I hurt when I fell down the stairs ages ago) hates me.

Think I'll be scrubbing in stages tonight or I'll never get it all done before the hubbie gets home from work and despite the fact he's not my favourite person at the mo (something along the lines of nothing gets done in this house and it's all up to him, idiot) I don't want to leave it for him to do in the morning.

I should really think twice before I take these notions into my head, seriously.

Time for me....

The girls are at their Granny and Granda's for the night, hubbie is at work for another couple of hours so it's just me for a while.

Bubble bath is ready, kindle is turned on, I'm ready for a couple hours peace and quiet thank you very much!

Bad couple of days...

The girls and I have had a bad couple of days, some of it is definitely all of my fault and a small bit of it is theirs.

I've been sick for nearly a fortnight now, been on antibiotics since last Monday and they aren't helping much, the asthma is just messing me about and instead of my chest infection moving in the usual direction it's actually going somewhere completely different and it's thrown me for a loop.

I'm out of sorts because of that, add in a tight chest and some wheezing, plus the serious lack of sleep and even Freddie Kruger would think twice about coming near me.

Our girls have had a bit of a cold (the joy of twins, if one is sick they both get sick) and they've been pretty much house-bound and are going a little stir crazy, hubbie is also having to use my car because his failed mot and is waiting to get an auto-spark to look at his before he can get it re-tested so we couldn't have gotten anywhere anyway.

The past couple of days has more or less just been constant screaming from either one or the other and at really bad times from both at the same time and I'm at the end of my tether.

Nothing is working to distract them, I can't get anything right and they're refusing to help in anyway. Even something as simple as having a drink has turned into a major tragedy and ends up being poured over the place because they want something other than what they're allowed (though they won't tell me what it is they want and they're usually brilliant at letting me know these things).

I'm at the bawling my eyes out stage and despite hubbie saying I need to talk to him more about how I'm feeling I can't, his answer is always to send them up to his mum and dad but I don't want them anywhere near them! They're in their seventies and not able to cope more than they already do and apart from that each time the girls are up there they always come home scared of something else e.g. they used to love dogs now when one barks they freak out, and spiders were a source of entertainment because they loved incy-wincy spider but now they're so scared of them they barely sing that song anymore (mother-in-law is scared of these things and I've heard her tell them that they're scared of them too, she doesn't even realise she's doing it and yes we've said to her to stop it she hasn't).

Fingers crossed for a better start to the new week than how the old one ended, and if I can't have a better start can I at least have a big bar of chocolate, a thing of squirty cream, proper home-made rice pudding and a couple packets of mango chunks from Tesco?

Mummy's boobs

I was just randomly thinking back to what we were doing roughly this time last week and I started giggling.

We were at the swimming pool in the Haven Holiday Park of Craig Tara and Miss C wanted to come with me whilst I got dried and dressed so she came into the cubicle with me and I start to strip and get dried as quick as possible because hubbie and Miss A were waiting on me.

Miss C shouts as loud as she can "Mummy's boobs, look!!"

There was silence and then a smattering of giggles from across the changing room, the loudest of all coming from the cubicle right beside me that held my mother-in-law.

I wasn't embarrassed as my daughters are slightly obsessed with my chest and like to point it out as often as possible but the swimming pool has family changing rooms meaning men and women share this area and as I left the cubicle I caught the men all glancing at my boobs quite obviously, they weren't hiding what they were doing in front of my husband. Thankfully he was so busy listening to Miss C rambling on that he never noticed so I didn't have to listen to his jealousy but my goodness my daughters know how to pick their moments!

Survival

That was the name of the game the past week.

On holiday with my husband, twin toddlers, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law and her husband. This could be considered by some their worst nightmare and at times I would definitely have agreed!!

Saying that it wasn't all bad, mother-in-law kicked straight into granny-mode and took charge of the girls so hubbie and I could spend some time together and also so we could go out for the evening with hubbie's sister and her husband but at times it did feel like I didn't get to see my daughters at all.

Can't have it both ways I suppose.

I'm just thankful I survived the week as fun as it was at times I'm glad we're back home.

Being terrorised by a 4 year old...

...and she's not even family!

She lives in a couple of houses down and I've let her come in a couple of times to play with the girls, as long as her Mummy agrees 1st but today she's being a little nightmare!

To start with I had to chase her twice when our girls were going down for their nap because every time they heard her they woke up again and then after their naps she let herself into the house whilst I was in the bath and hubbie was on the phone in the kitchen and her Mummy didn't even know where she was.

Now, since 7pm I've chased her a few times, I've shouted through the window for her to stay away from the window because I was trying to get the girls into their jammies and start their wind down but she keeps coming over regardless of what I say to her.

There's just no telling her!

Her Mummy says to just tell her to go away if she's annoying me but it's not working and I don't want to have to get any sterner with her than I already have because she's only 4 and by the looks of it she's an only child so is just wanting the company but she's starting to bug the life out of me when I'm trying to keep our girls on schedule and routine is seriously important for our twins, if we veer off course then it's a nightmare trying to get back on.

Oh what to do!!

Daunting task ahead....

I must entertain not only two toddlers on a four hour boat journey but also a husband with a short attention span.

Eeeeeeeekkk!!!!!!!!!!

At least I've got the girlies sorted, well at least I hope I've got them sorted with a colouring book each, a drawing pad each, some stickers and a whole load of crayons, but the hubbie is a different matter all together. He can't sit and read the way I love to, he can't go for a dander because all three of us would have to go with him incase he sees something that he must absolutely share with us, and I can't push him over the edge of the deck because knowing my luck we won't be allowed out.

I'll have plenty of snacks with me, we can get cups of tea and juice on the boat and as a last resort I've a secret stash of chocolate already in my bag just waiting on the first squeal of grumpiness to be heard (this more than likely will be from the hubbie and not the daughters).

I'm completely and utterly dreading the boat in the morning.

I'm married to an oul' fart

Hubbie turns 38 this Thursday the 26th and already he's complaining about how old he's getting.

He's been looking at all of his grey hairs (he's got loads, almost the same amount as his 74 year old Dad and it's really bugging him).

He's starting to talk about how old he's looking when he sees himself in the mirror.

My response to his moaning - I start giggling and call him an oul' fart.

Not the most supportive I grant you but I just cannot help it, if he stopped reminding me that I'm turning 30 this year then maybe I'll be a bit more sympathetic but until then all I can do is hide my giggles and make sure he has a brilliant birthday with the 3 gorgeous ladies in his life.

Reasons to be Cheerful - 19.04.2012

Thank you as always to Mummy From the Heart.
I'm not sure what to be thankful for this week. Hubbie lost his job, he's pretty down about it and I'm starting to feel the strain trying to keep moral up for both of us.
So in light of all the depressing stuff that's happening in our household this week I think my reasons to be cheerful should be completely frivolous and just for a giggle to put a smile on my face, and hopefully a smile on yours as you read it.
1.Housework is getting done!!!With Hubbie out of work it means our house will be spotless (well as spotless as our monsters will allow anyway!). He's already gutted the hot press, he's washed every dish in the house, the living room floor has been cleared, today he's finishing the ironing and on Sunday, weather depending, he's going to be doing some gardening for me.Now if only I could get him to cook every meal I'd be a lady of leisure about the house.
2.We have a kingsize duvet for our double bed.For anyone who shares a bed with a quilt hogger you'll understand the bliss having a larger quilt for your bed than is necessarily required.
3.Stickers!Stickers are the currency of choice in our house and if it wasn't for these delightful sticky pictures I'd never get a minutes peace, especially on the days our girls don't nap. Our girls go crazy for them and I'm not sure what we would've done if we hadn't discovered them months ago.Thank you sticker makers wherever you are, you've helped preserve my sanity (well for a little while longer anyway).

Hubbie lost his job today

Needless to say he's devastated and so am I though we knew it would be a possibility.

I only work 8 hours a week because we can't afford childcare for our twins and that's definitely not enough to get us by.

Haven't a clue what we're going to do but it looks like I'm searching for a full-time job and we'll just have to work out the childcare if I'm successful. As for Hubbie, I'm starting to search for him as well but he's in a terrible state right now.

Just hope I can be strong enough for the both of us.

Titanic Belfast

We have been to Titanic Belfast and thoroughly enjoyed it (despite the fact I cannot stand hearing about the Titanic which is unfortunate considering I married a Titanic nut!).

We had gotten hubbie tickets for Titanic Belfast as part of his Christmas present and I thought that I was being clever and picking the last Saturday in March thinking that the initial rush would be over, of course I didn't read it right and ended up choosing the opening day, my goodness what a crush!

Hubbie enjoyed himself immensely and I enjoyed all the history surrounding Titanic, the era it was build in, the work involved, the people associated with the building and operation of the ship, just didn't like the bit about it sinking and especially didn't like reading about the body of a two year old boy being found - this definitely struck a chord with us as our twins are now two and it greatly upset us.

For the interactive ride there was a very long queue, it was having a few malfunctions not surprising considering it was the 1st day of the exhibition but we stood for well over an hour waiting on it. The staff, or crew as they were called, were as helpful as could be, offering to take us on to the next bit and maybe coming back to see the ride later if we wanted but we said we were ok to stand, and then a while later more crew came up and asked again if we wanted to skip it offering us 50% off vouchers on our next visit because of our delay if we did want to move on.

The gift shop was pricey, but then they always are in places like this, some lovely pieces of jewellery and Belleek had some gorgeous pieces that I would've loved to have brought home but 1. we couldn't afford them and 2. we don't have anywhere to put them so we just had to leave them be.

The one thing I'm sorely disappointed over is that we didn't get to see the staircase, it's not part of the exhibition so I understand why lots of people are up in arms that one of the guys from JLS got to see it and tweeted a pic of himself infront of the staircase:

So unfair and it makes me wonder why the staircase is part of the advertising if it's not open for public viewing. Just goes to show that the paying customer isn't that important, it's the hype that celebrities can bring is the real issue here. 

Maybe someday we'll all get to see the staircase because really that's the one thing I was most looking forward to.

 

 
 

Empty Office

Work is closed this week because of Easter and I'm the only one in.

If I wasn't off sick last week on the one and only day I work I wouldn't be in either, I'd be at home preferably still curled up in bed whilst hubbie takes the kids to his Mum's for the day letting me have a day to myself after the mare of a day I had yesterday (dunno what was up with our girls but the terrible twos were rearing their naughty little heads).

Instead of enjoying the peace and quiet I'm in work about to try and keep busy in work for 8 hours in complete silence because I cannot get my speakers working on my computer. Not amused.

So if any of you are out enjoying the sunshine think of me stuck in the office, with only the tick tock of the wall clock to keep me company, slowly counting down the minutes until I get out of here.

Two years to practise...

Hopefully that's enough time for me to overcome my nerves and play the piano at my niece's wedding, won't it?

I'm not so sure as I'm shaking just thinking about it right now and I haven't even started to think of what I'm going to play for her.

She asked me if I'd play as she walked down the aisle, and obviously I couldn't refuse (well I could, she's not my niece, she's my hubbie's niece) but I have a really hard time telling people no. I then heard myself offering to play the hymns for her and also to play before the service started and while she was signing the register with her new husband (all the while chanting in my head, shut up you stupid woman!!!!!).

Needless to say I went straight onto Amazon and ordered a couple of wedding music books and I'll be rummaging through my library of sheet music and books also to find the perfect pieces to play but I'm terrified!

Dum dum de dum.....

My Valentines

It started off with me losing my temper with my hubbie, followed by my in-laws down for lunch and the afternoon, I took my mummy-in-law to Tesco for a dander round then up to theirs for tea and now I'm sitting in the house all on my lonesome because I left the girlies with their granny and granda and hubbie is still in work.

Such a romantic day.

Fingers crossed Saturday will be much more romantic when hubbie and I go out for a meal and do a bit of shopping (I get to spend his money, yippee!!).

Creative Writing

Attempting to write my cv is not a task I enjoy. I'm beginning to struggle and I haven't even gotten any further than my name, address and contact details.

How on earth are you meant to bum and blow yourself enough to appear confident and an asset to any company without making yourself seem like an arrogant cow is beyond me.

I wrote my husbbie's cv for him and when the guy in the recruitment agency read it I got commended for it so it's a complete giggle that writing my own cv is nigh on impossible.

The 'R' word

Redundancy.

It's a horrible word, almost as bad as a swear word but definitely more widely used.

It hasn't affected us until now, we were so thankful that we both still had jobs despite the recession and all the problems both our places of work were experiencing but now we've both been made redundant from both of our works, and our last days are coincidentally the same.

Dunno how I feel about my own redundancy just yet even though I was expecting it and it had plenty of time to sink in but I guess I was just trying to ignore it and hope that something would happen so that nothing would change.

My hubbie is dealing very well with his own redundancy, he's thrown himself into the job search and is enjoying the extra time he now has with his daughters as he feels like he's missed out on so much.

Maybe for me it'll mean a chance to rethink the stay-at-home-mummy plan for a wee while because we can't afford childcare for both our twins and I wouldn't be able to search for part-time work that would suit our situation as it was before the 'R' word interfered.

Something will come up, it always does and there's no point in dwelling on it. It just means for a little while that anything considered a luxury will be scaled down on but as long as our daughters bums are covered and their tummies are full that's all that matters.

Date Night!

Hubbie has booked a table for us for tomorrow night at 7pm and despite the fact that I'll only be getting home from work round 6pm and will have less than 15 mins to get myself decent to go out again I'm really looking forward to it!

Can't remember just how long it's been since we've been out as husband and wife and not as Mummy and Daddy so it'll be a novel experience but I'm a little concerned over what's suitable conversation, so silly I know but I'm so used to having our toddlers with us that talking to an adult is a little difficult for me at times. Thankfully Hubbie feels the same way so we'll muddle through together I'm sure and if we end up giggling halfway through our starters then at least we're giggling and making a mess of it together and it's something we can enjoy together too.

Now what to wear...............

Redundancy

Hubbie was made redundant on Monday, we were expecting it and he's ok with it but I'm not. I'm not sure what to make of it all. Yes he's getting a redundancy package from his employers and yes the Citizen's Advice have given him some brilliant advice about what to do now, especially as I only work 16 hours a week so they've given Hubbie a list of everyone we both need to notify about the change in our circumstances and all of that but despite everything being very straightforward at the moment I'm still very overwhelmed by it all.

I suppose if we didn't have our twins I wouldn't be feeling like this but I'm scared we might not be able to provide for them as we have been doing, I don't want to have to rely on a higher rate of child tax credits or working tax credits and Hubbie's job seekers allowance to get us through each month, I don't want to have to rely more on family members even though they'll all be willing to help out it's just something that completely goes against the grain for me.

Do I blame my upbringing for my feelings or is it something I've decided upon as I went out into the world of work and becoming independent?

Neither of my Parents have ever relied on anything other than their wages, they never received any benefits etc and only got the usual child allowance for the three of us and despite the fact my Father is classed as disabled because of his diabetes this was something he never claimed on until he was told he had to. When you're raised in a family who never had to rely on government support it's hard to accept that you yourself may have to to keep your family going.

The 'F' word

Our youngest swears because her Daddy swears. 

Oh dear.

We aren't sure how to tackle this other than to glue my husband's mouth shut when he's around our daughters to avoid anymore swear words being repeated.

Fingers crossed our elderly, Churchy relatives will believe she's talking about her cuddly, stuffed frog and not repeating the 'F' word she has heard.

I have a cold, let me be miserable!

Is there a unwritten rule somewhere that says when a Mummy has a cold she's not allowed to feel miserable like everyone else does when similarly afflicted?

Am I not allowed to look a little down in the dumps when our children are looking the other direction? Can I not grimace each time I cough and my throat feels like I'm scraping it with a wire brush without being told that someone else has a cold and sore throat that is much worse than mine?

Just let me be miserable! even for a little while.

I do not make a good patient, I don't like being told that I have to curl up and behave myself and let whatever it is do it's job and make me feel better, I do not like being tied down and have the really bad urge to get up and do stuff (like housework) when I'm not feeling well. Strange though that I have a housework phobia when I'm perfectly well :D

Vengeance shall be mine when my hubbie comes down with a cold, oh yes I'll get my own back then!